Reviewed by Miranda Maduro Mistress
'Twas the night before work week, when all through the house, The Maduro Mistress was stirring, trying not to wake spouse; The humis, half empty, lay on wood floor with care, Waiting, anticipating, for her to come share;
Where Mistress' babies had nestled all snug in their cedar, Now only visions of perfect ash wafted in their stead; For that Hoyo De Monterrey Double Corona, with perfect cap, Had just settled in her lungs for a long winter's nap,
When out on the humidor it's 7 5/8 inches did indeed flatter, She sucked it right down, quick smart, what a wrapper! When the 49 ring gauge hit her teeth with a gnash, "Divine" she muttered and hit the ashtray with ash.
Now the cigar is half gone, but oh what a glow the luster, the strength, the tobacco - whoa, when, what to her wandering eyes should appear, but a 6 pack of Heineken! Oh, what a beer!
With a little MacGyver, oh yeah, what a trick, She flipped open a bottle, and damn boys, she's quick! More rapid than eagles, those cigar forces they came, and she whistled and shouted and called them by name:
"Now Toasty! Now Flinty!
Now, Rustic, yet Smooth.
Oh core of Pepper Spice,
So, Earthy and Woody!
And Leathery to boot!
To the cigar smoking hall of fame ye shall go!
Oh Hoyo De Monterrey Double Corona,
How I shall miss you so...
Score 7/10
Whilst I would award this a top prize for lyrical genius, I would have to deduct marks for tasting and description. I just could not feel this one, a great cigar one of my fav's, however unfortunately the tale of Christmas overpowered the review and left a foggy winter finish on a great cigar ! Reviewed by Mat Nicholls
Score 2/10
for effort/attempt on the verse! At first I thought - "Ah fa' Christs sake, here we go again - it's the Startrek geezer all over again". Then I read it and thought, no it's not as good as that! What was the point of this? I guess the person liked the stogie - not sure if I could get a reasonable comparison with anything else if I hadn't smoked these before and I can't see why people think this sort of codswallop is a good review. Reviewed by Richard Whitwell (aka Cowell)
Score 10/10
Very season appropriate! Quite the effort put forth and most cleverly written! Nice touch to match an appropriate libation as well. Review covers size (both length and gauge), construction, palate flavors and recommendation. Invites one into the entire HdM experience - well done! Reviewed by Alec
OVERALL SCORE:19/30